Oy.
There's not much more I can say about this week. It has been an eternity since I've written a new post.
I've been really bad at following my original plan, and in the last few months, I have regained nearly 20 lbs. Nope, not proud of myself at all.
People say, "you don't look like you've gained". Gee, thanks!
I decided to change primary care providers recently. I really like my previous doctor, but he is getting up in age, and honestly, looking at his crooked toupe each visit was slightly disturbing. But I digress.
After Thanksgiving and the ridiculous amounts of food I ate that day and the enitre weekend, I started feeling odd stomach pains. Cut to the new doc and an appointment. Walked in, waited over an hour to see him. BP checked - get this, 190/120 - WHAAAAAAAT?
Last time it was checked, nearly a year ago, it was 110/90. What the hell had I done to myself? Clearly I am not paying attention to taking care of myself. Right away, they put me in a room, told me to take this orangeish pill and lay down. Huh? It was all happening so fast. I was freaking out. Probably didn't help that I dissolved into tears when the doctor gave me the numbers. "Are you like this all the time?", he asked. I'm like, "Uh, no!" Girl comes back in 20 mminutes and the numbers are down. Okay, but not enough, it seems. Other half of pill is given. "Lay down for a little while longer", she says. OMG! 20 more minutes go by and I'm crawling out of my skin. Doc comes in and says it has gone down more, but the lower number is better than the higher. He writes a prescription for meds and tells me to go home, take one tonight, and one per day; come back Thursday. So soon? All righty, then.
Thursday... BP still high. So now they've doubled the dose (not thrilling me, due to the cost of this stuff).
So, I'm still learning. I suppose we will do this until we leave this lovely earth. I'm going to write more. Still need to undergo a test to see what the stomach stuff is... December is a month of doctor visits, and getting back on track.
Stay with me...
Friday, December 4, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Caveat Empty (the refrigerator)
I believe we all need to empty our refrigerators from time to time. You know, there could be something rotting in there (don't judge - you know this has happened to you). I don't believe we need to do this daily - yes, we need to eat, but not the way I have been doing lately.
I started this blog to talk about weight loss issues - my issues and how I overcame them to lose a whopping 50 lbs. in 9 months! Well, lately, I have been on all sorts of plateaus. Today, I am proud of myself, because an obnoxious response from someone in my office could have caused me to head straight to the deli to get something sinful to eat, but I didn't. For some odd reason, I tend to forget that I purchased a very delicious box of Chocolate Mint Vita Tops a while back. This is good, since, if I remembered this every day, I could end up eating the whole box - yeah, that would be 2,400 calories in one sitting - is that still low in points with all the fiber I'd be consuming? (each one has like 6 grams of fiber and only 100 calories). No, silly - that would be one day of points and then I might look like a walking Vita Top. Look, they are very nice looking, but I didn't start a diet to look like a chocolate muffin top, which would happen if I did this very thing. I could imagine walking down the street - people would say, what a pretty chocolate muffin top! OK, I am waking up from this ridiculous dream.
I know I am getting off topic here... my point is I want to be able to get back to what prevents me from the success I initially achieved. 2009 has been quite an emotional year. The poor economy in the U.S. finally hit my company, and in March, we learned that our salaries would be cut by 10%. At first, it did not bother me too much. As time went on, it began to, and my eating issues followed. I wish I did not let stuff like this bother me. Of course, I am only human and I know I can't escape it.
How do I get my focus back? Do I need to attend WW meetings again? Maybe. I recently felt that I could do this myself. I could follow my points program without attending meetings. It doesn't seem like that is working.
OK, I am making a new plan. I am committing to attending at least one meeting by the end of next week. If I do that, I can stick to it. They always say you have to try something once, and you will know if you really want to do it. I want to lose more weight. I don't want to get back to my former size. I hated it. I love fitting into the size I am now (and it doesn't hurt that I am getting a gift from a pal who I helped with her office transition - a $250 pair of jeans from her company in my current size!). Don't want to screw that up! Keep up with the blog to see how I do!
I started this blog to talk about weight loss issues - my issues and how I overcame them to lose a whopping 50 lbs. in 9 months! Well, lately, I have been on all sorts of plateaus. Today, I am proud of myself, because an obnoxious response from someone in my office could have caused me to head straight to the deli to get something sinful to eat, but I didn't. For some odd reason, I tend to forget that I purchased a very delicious box of Chocolate Mint Vita Tops a while back. This is good, since, if I remembered this every day, I could end up eating the whole box - yeah, that would be 2,400 calories in one sitting - is that still low in points with all the fiber I'd be consuming? (each one has like 6 grams of fiber and only 100 calories). No, silly - that would be one day of points and then I might look like a walking Vita Top. Look, they are very nice looking, but I didn't start a diet to look like a chocolate muffin top, which would happen if I did this very thing. I could imagine walking down the street - people would say, what a pretty chocolate muffin top! OK, I am waking up from this ridiculous dream.
I know I am getting off topic here... my point is I want to be able to get back to what prevents me from the success I initially achieved. 2009 has been quite an emotional year. The poor economy in the U.S. finally hit my company, and in March, we learned that our salaries would be cut by 10%. At first, it did not bother me too much. As time went on, it began to, and my eating issues followed. I wish I did not let stuff like this bother me. Of course, I am only human and I know I can't escape it.
How do I get my focus back? Do I need to attend WW meetings again? Maybe. I recently felt that I could do this myself. I could follow my points program without attending meetings. It doesn't seem like that is working.
OK, I am making a new plan. I am committing to attending at least one meeting by the end of next week. If I do that, I can stick to it. They always say you have to try something once, and you will know if you really want to do it. I want to lose more weight. I don't want to get back to my former size. I hated it. I love fitting into the size I am now (and it doesn't hurt that I am getting a gift from a pal who I helped with her office transition - a $250 pair of jeans from her company in my current size!). Don't want to screw that up! Keep up with the blog to see how I do!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
How something insignificant impedes my progress...
Wow; I have really been on a plateau lately. I'm not sure why a scheduled day of fasting makes me eat even more than I normally do. Psychologically, I'm thinking that if I do "fat stores", I will be okay the day of the fast. This does not work.
The interesting aspect of this all - I'm not really gaining anything. I just continue to stay at the same weight I've been after gaining nearly 16 lbs., and losing 6. My real plan to is to stay on track and lose more than what I gained. I want to do this as I never really reached the original goal I set for myself. I patted myself on the back for a very long time after losing 50 lbs. That's easy to do when you get a lot of compliments on how you look. Listen, for me, this is not about numbers, but it is about how I'm feeling. I am totally amazed at how just a small number of pounds can make you feel not well again. That was my wake-up call. Stop patting yourself on the back and get in the game again.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I was totally excited by the return of "The Biggest Loser". I started watching only last season, but what a season it was! So inspiring! This season, not so much. I began to watch last night's episode, which occured immediately after last week's weigh-in (this is normal, for those of you who don't watch). If the group dropped a total of 150 lbs., no one would go home. They ended up dropping 155 lbs., and they even had a 15 lb. advantage from a challenge. I was excited for them, since they really, really need to be there. This week, however, made me feel like the show is channeling Survivor. When I watched last season, I felt that the challenges were things they could handle psychologically. This season, much like the aforementioned jungle reality show, the challenges are causing them to make choices they are not ready to make, and it is affecting the entire group. Both challenges were won by a woman who began the competition by collapsing during a one-mile run/walk, ending up in the hospital with a still-unknown ailment. Obviously, her weight caused what ever problem she had, but we haven't been told what really happened to her. The two challenges were choice based: "Would you rather ____ or ____?" - first asked to decide whether they wanted a 2-lb. advantage or their trainers, this girl quickly decided she needed the 2-lbs. Problem is, she neglected to discuss this with her partner, and it affected his week. He needed the trainers (although, the way they are acting this year, I could do without them - no need to be so mean). Next, they were challenged to not eat cupcakes. The winner would be who ever could eat the most cupcakes. That person would win, and the prize was controlling who got to be weighed in each team pairing. As I said before, the same woman won. Impulsively, she ate 4 cupcakes. Only one other person ate, and he consumed only two. So, now she controlled the game.
While this may all sound quite tedious, it fully impacts anyone who is on a diet and exercise program. You absolutely cannot make rash decisions. You have to think about everything you are putting in your mouth, and you need to take the time to think about it. In the real world, what you do with your diet does not control the people around you and how they eat. But anyone who watches this show or reads this blog needs to follow a plan. Please don't let the decision made on this show affect what you are doing. I'm trying not to let it affect me. But it is.
The interesting aspect of this all - I'm not really gaining anything. I just continue to stay at the same weight I've been after gaining nearly 16 lbs., and losing 6. My real plan to is to stay on track and lose more than what I gained. I want to do this as I never really reached the original goal I set for myself. I patted myself on the back for a very long time after losing 50 lbs. That's easy to do when you get a lot of compliments on how you look. Listen, for me, this is not about numbers, but it is about how I'm feeling. I am totally amazed at how just a small number of pounds can make you feel not well again. That was my wake-up call. Stop patting yourself on the back and get in the game again.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I was totally excited by the return of "The Biggest Loser". I started watching only last season, but what a season it was! So inspiring! This season, not so much. I began to watch last night's episode, which occured immediately after last week's weigh-in (this is normal, for those of you who don't watch). If the group dropped a total of 150 lbs., no one would go home. They ended up dropping 155 lbs., and they even had a 15 lb. advantage from a challenge. I was excited for them, since they really, really need to be there. This week, however, made me feel like the show is channeling Survivor. When I watched last season, I felt that the challenges were things they could handle psychologically. This season, much like the aforementioned jungle reality show, the challenges are causing them to make choices they are not ready to make, and it is affecting the entire group. Both challenges were won by a woman who began the competition by collapsing during a one-mile run/walk, ending up in the hospital with a still-unknown ailment. Obviously, her weight caused what ever problem she had, but we haven't been told what really happened to her. The two challenges were choice based: "Would you rather ____ or ____?" - first asked to decide whether they wanted a 2-lb. advantage or their trainers, this girl quickly decided she needed the 2-lbs. Problem is, she neglected to discuss this with her partner, and it affected his week. He needed the trainers (although, the way they are acting this year, I could do without them - no need to be so mean). Next, they were challenged to not eat cupcakes. The winner would be who ever could eat the most cupcakes. That person would win, and the prize was controlling who got to be weighed in each team pairing. As I said before, the same woman won. Impulsively, she ate 4 cupcakes. Only one other person ate, and he consumed only two. So, now she controlled the game.
While this may all sound quite tedious, it fully impacts anyone who is on a diet and exercise program. You absolutely cannot make rash decisions. You have to think about everything you are putting in your mouth, and you need to take the time to think about it. In the real world, what you do with your diet does not control the people around you and how they eat. But anyone who watches this show or reads this blog needs to follow a plan. Please don't let the decision made on this show affect what you are doing. I'm trying not to let it affect me. But it is.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The real "Biggest Loser" is back!
I was so excited to watch the season premiere of "The Biggest Loser" last night. While I know this is always an emotional journey, I don't think I was prepared for this season's contestants. Everything started out fine, with the theme this season being "second chances". We even have a contestant from last year, Dan, who already lost 142 lbs. on the show in season 7 (he was a fan favorite).
Each contestant has gone through something that has lead to their obesity. Abby lost her entire family in a car accident when her youngest was only 2 weeks old. She believes that she was not in the car for a reason, and feels her fate is sealed in that she can have this second chance at being healthy and moving on with her life. Julio and his wife (not a contestant) decided that at age 40, they would make healthy changes - they promised their daughters as much. Shay, the largest contestant in all 8 seasons, was raised by a heroin-addict mother who chose living on the streets over providing shelter for her daughter. As a result, she ended up in foster care, where she was able to get some love and a great education (she is a social worker), but at the start of the season, weighs a staggering 476 lbs. I don't even know how you can get there. Even at my heaviest weight, I was aware of how big I was getting and made several attempts to lose the weight. She seems to have had no clue and is now embarrassed at how big she has gotten. It was great to see her lose a substantial amount of weight in the first week. I hope she really sticks with it, because 30 is too young to die.
I'm looking forward to next week's episode, where hopefully, as in episode one, no one ends up in the hospital for just exercising. Two contestants suffered this fate, and as of the end of the episode, only one was back at the ranch.
This show is so inspiring. Watch it if you have a chance. Even if you are at a healthy weight, you can learn something!
Each contestant has gone through something that has lead to their obesity. Abby lost her entire family in a car accident when her youngest was only 2 weeks old. She believes that she was not in the car for a reason, and feels her fate is sealed in that she can have this second chance at being healthy and moving on with her life. Julio and his wife (not a contestant) decided that at age 40, they would make healthy changes - they promised their daughters as much. Shay, the largest contestant in all 8 seasons, was raised by a heroin-addict mother who chose living on the streets over providing shelter for her daughter. As a result, she ended up in foster care, where she was able to get some love and a great education (she is a social worker), but at the start of the season, weighs a staggering 476 lbs. I don't even know how you can get there. Even at my heaviest weight, I was aware of how big I was getting and made several attempts to lose the weight. She seems to have had no clue and is now embarrassed at how big she has gotten. It was great to see her lose a substantial amount of weight in the first week. I hope she really sticks with it, because 30 is too young to die.
I'm looking forward to next week's episode, where hopefully, as in episode one, no one ends up in the hospital for just exercising. Two contestants suffered this fate, and as of the end of the episode, only one was back at the ranch.
This show is so inspiring. Watch it if you have a chance. Even if you are at a healthy weight, you can learn something!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Plateaus
I decided this morning, based purely on receiving an email from a former professor who has a blog (and has been quite a frequent poster), and the mere fact that I haven't written a post in nearly two weeks, that I have plateaued.
Webster's (the dictionary, not the little guy on 80's TV) defines a plateau thusly:
pla-teau
Pronunciation: \pla-'to, 'pla-\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural plateaus or pla-teaux \-'toz
Etymology: French, from Middle French, platter (hmmmm...) from plat flat
Date: 1796 (people have been exhibiting this behavior for a while now, huh?)
1 a: a usually extensive land area having a relatively level surface raised sharply above adjacent land on at least one side: TABLELAND b: a similar undersea feature
2 a: a region of little or no change in a graphic representation b: a relatively stable level, period, or condition (this sounds like me)
3 a: a level of attainment or achievement (okay, are you as confused as me yet?)
Maybe I need to Google the word. Clearly, this plateau thing applies quite well to weight loss, whether you have a reached a goal you want to climb the mountain tops to share, or if you have simply hit a spot in your progress that is stagnant.
Listen, I knew when I got back on this road, that there would be periods where there would be no movement on the scale (up or down).
I see my pattern here. And currently, I am listening to the fabulous Beatles tell me: "Because the world is round..." I am suddenly believing this has something to do with my plateau. The intelligent me knows this can't be true, but there are people out there who think this rules their days, so I can't be that far off.
My new goal is to just get through this. I am doing everything right: keeping a food journal, which besides having fun with making a neat cover for it, has actually been fun and informative, sticking to my daily points, adding exercise to my routine (yeah, some days, that last one seems to be the thing that I put last). I know that I will. Starting today...
Webster's (the dictionary, not the little guy on 80's TV) defines a plateau thusly:
pla-teau
Pronunciation: \pla-'to, 'pla-\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural plateaus or pla-teaux \-'toz
Etymology: French, from Middle French, platter (hmmmm...) from plat flat
Date: 1796 (people have been exhibiting this behavior for a while now, huh?)
1 a: a usually extensive land area having a relatively level surface raised sharply above adjacent land on at least one side: TABLELAND b: a similar undersea feature
2 a: a region of little or no change in a graphic representation b: a relatively stable level, period, or condition (this sounds like me)
3 a: a level of attainment or achievement (okay, are you as confused as me yet?)
Maybe I need to Google the word. Clearly, this plateau thing applies quite well to weight loss, whether you have a reached a goal you want to climb the mountain tops to share, or if you have simply hit a spot in your progress that is stagnant.
Listen, I knew when I got back on this road, that there would be periods where there would be no movement on the scale (up or down).
I see my pattern here. And currently, I am listening to the fabulous Beatles tell me: "Because the world is round..." I am suddenly believing this has something to do with my plateau. The intelligent me knows this can't be true, but there are people out there who think this rules their days, so I can't be that far off.
My new goal is to just get through this. I am doing everything right: keeping a food journal, which besides having fun with making a neat cover for it, has actually been fun and informative, sticking to my daily points, adding exercise to my routine (yeah, some days, that last one seems to be the thing that I put last). I know that I will. Starting today...
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Thank God for the Bender Ball (tales from a frustrating morning on the subway)
This morning, for a change, the train decided to take a little break - from MOVING! Even little things excite me (it doesn't take much), so when the train got to my station with seats (Yay!), my heart jumped a little (believe me, this occurance is rare). We started to move towards the next station, slowly. At first, I didn't think much of it. But then, we stopped at that next station for two minutes - no announcement. We began moving again towards the next station, and again we stopped for a full two minutes (I knew this because I was playing a timed game of solitaire on my phone). What was up?
The train ambled along towards the city. I looked at my watch: It was 8:20 a.m. I realized I'd been on the train for almost 40 minutes now. Huh? Normally, I am at my lower Manhattan stop sooner than this. We hadn't even left the borough yet! Oy! Finally, when we got to the last stop before Manhattan, the conductor decided to enlighten us: "Sorry, folks, there is a train with mechanical difficulties ahead. We will be moving shortly." Ugh. We got this message about 5 more times, and then the train moved again. Slowly. Finally, they said it could be another 15-20 minutes before it moved out of this particular station. What the? I again consulted the time: 9:08. Unbelievable. At 8:45, I sent a Blackberry message to my bosses - problem is, they could not get that from underground. Now, all of this would normally put a knot in my back. I was stressed that I couldn't get to work on time, but I was calmed by the fact that all this stress wasn't affecting my back - sitting on a train for that long is not fun for your muscles. Then, I realized why....
At work, I am forced to sit in what is supposed to be an ergonomic chair. Yes, according to the box, this chair was specifically designed to help with back pain and posture. It actually does help with posture, on the rare day it actually stays at the correct height. Either someone is screwing with my chair, or it has a mind of its own. Back pain, however, has not been fixed by just sitting in this "miracle chair". It has actually gotten worse.
Because of this, I have been looking for something to take away my lower back pain. I knew it had something to do with being overweight, but it never occurred to me that there was a product out there that would accomplish two tasks: strengthen my abs and core muscles and alleve my back pain! Yes, it is the Bender Ball. This little ball is pure genious!
It probably didn't help that I regained nearly 15 lbs. over the course of four months. I'd lost 50, and I thought the back pain was gone (it still hurt from time to time). Well, thanks to the bender ball (and that other genious, Gilad), I've lost a little over 4 lbs. in just two weeks. Oh, add to that the return to Weight Watchers way of eating.
So, the next time the train decides to not move (and I assure you, this will happen again), I will remember that I have a tool at home to help me. And that should make my ride smooth no matter what happens. By the way, I got to the office at 10:00 a.m. And my back is fine....
The train ambled along towards the city. I looked at my watch: It was 8:20 a.m. I realized I'd been on the train for almost 40 minutes now. Huh? Normally, I am at my lower Manhattan stop sooner than this. We hadn't even left the borough yet! Oy! Finally, when we got to the last stop before Manhattan, the conductor decided to enlighten us: "Sorry, folks, there is a train with mechanical difficulties ahead. We will be moving shortly." Ugh. We got this message about 5 more times, and then the train moved again. Slowly. Finally, they said it could be another 15-20 minutes before it moved out of this particular station. What the? I again consulted the time: 9:08. Unbelievable. At 8:45, I sent a Blackberry message to my bosses - problem is, they could not get that from underground. Now, all of this would normally put a knot in my back. I was stressed that I couldn't get to work on time, but I was calmed by the fact that all this stress wasn't affecting my back - sitting on a train for that long is not fun for your muscles. Then, I realized why....
At work, I am forced to sit in what is supposed to be an ergonomic chair. Yes, according to the box, this chair was specifically designed to help with back pain and posture. It actually does help with posture, on the rare day it actually stays at the correct height. Either someone is screwing with my chair, or it has a mind of its own. Back pain, however, has not been fixed by just sitting in this "miracle chair". It has actually gotten worse.
Because of this, I have been looking for something to take away my lower back pain. I knew it had something to do with being overweight, but it never occurred to me that there was a product out there that would accomplish two tasks: strengthen my abs and core muscles and alleve my back pain! Yes, it is the Bender Ball. This little ball is pure genious!
It probably didn't help that I regained nearly 15 lbs. over the course of four months. I'd lost 50, and I thought the back pain was gone (it still hurt from time to time). Well, thanks to the bender ball (and that other genious, Gilad), I've lost a little over 4 lbs. in just two weeks. Oh, add to that the return to Weight Watchers way of eating.
So, the next time the train decides to not move (and I assure you, this will happen again), I will remember that I have a tool at home to help me. And that should make my ride smooth no matter what happens. By the way, I got to the office at 10:00 a.m. And my back is fine....
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tips and Tricks (what I've learned in the past and on this new journey)
I love that I am getting followers now... my goal for this whole thing is to have people read the blog and walk away with something useful in their own weight loss journey as well as me benefitting from the comments.
That's already happening! This is very exciting to me.
And now I want to share some tips and tricks that I've learned along the way (beginning with my original quest to lose, and the one I am on now):
That's already happening! This is very exciting to me.
And now I want to share some tips and tricks that I've learned along the way (beginning with my original quest to lose, and the one I am on now):
- If you find yourself wanting to eat poorly between meals, give yourself ten minutes to decide if you really are hungry. I know about this because I do it when I am bored. (I normally want a snack at around 11 a.m. - I don't always need one - ten minutes not too long to wait!)
- If you find yourself wanting to eat poorly between meals (Part Deux), drink a tall glass of water! It really works!
- For those of us working every day, make sure you get up and move around the office. Studies have shown that even a little bit of movement is good. So, do it!
- Eat fruit! Eat popcorn (the light kind, preferably without butter)! Eat veggies (I choose colorful ones so they are fun to eat)! Spice up your food; when we have to eat in limited quantities, it is better to give your food some flavor - it will be more satisfying - stock up on spices, herbs, garlic, etc. Just make sure you pay attention to the expiration dates on the spices - old spices do not taste good.
Okay, I am keeping this short. I do welcome from you more suggestions (and I have been getting great ones in the comments, so read that, too!) And, as I just told my friend, Rock on With Your Bad Self! You can do this!
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