Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Have you heard the one about the tortoise and the hare?

Some weeks I feel like I'm moving at lightning speed; others, not so much.  This pertains not only to my weight loss, but extends to other parts of my life.  

It extends, for example, to me at work.  I wear many different hats and can be juggling several projects at once.  Some weeks, I am like a dynamo - I can lose 4.2 lbs. and finish every single project with aplomb and even perhaps applause.  Really.  Some weeks, I walk around without a clear thought in my head and I forget to do things, even the mundane things that are part of my weight loss journey and part of my job.  I don't quite get it, but I move on from everything with a smile and a plan to improve upon anything that I do.  I want to do things better even if I've done it well in the first place.

To that end, I'm on a quest this week to lose better than the .6 lbs. I lost in the last week.  Most would say, "Wow, you did great!  You lost almost 5 lbs. in two weeks!"  I'm the opposite.  Someone even said, "Hey!  At that rate (.6/week), you'll be down 30 lbs. in a year!"  No matter how optimistic I appear, inside I'm always finding the the black lining.  I never think I've done well enough.  

This even extends to things that are not particularly under my control.  When things I manage, but am not really responsible for making work do not work, I take on the blame.  It's kind of dumb to do that, but I take it on anyway.  I've talked about this in therapy, but haven't really gotten past it yet.  I end up saying sorry even when it isn't remotely my fault.

So, you probably get at this point that mostly I'm the tortoise, but it doesn't directly relate to how slow I am in losing weight; it points to the fact that I'm slow on the uptake in getting that it's a process. 

How can I change my attitude?  I'm not quite sure yet, but I know that continuing to attend meetings every week will help.  I also think I have to find other things to focus on, even when a day turns into gloom and doom.  I've got to do some research.  What do you do when you experience something like this?  How do you turn it all around?  Hit the comments and let me know.  I'm going to turn this all around.  Tomorrow.


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