Maintaining. This is a word I always associate with dieting. Some would disagree with me and say it applies to other things. My take on it is that whenever I've heard it, "She's maintaining; that's good." I can only assume it relates to a diet.
So that's basically what my past week brought. Maintaining, or as our leader says, not getting on yourself for a failure to lose. I can't really complain because I'm up only .2 lbs. Not much to spill your milk over and cry in it. I think the word should be changed to motivating, because whether you are losing or gaining, you have some motivation to keep going. That is, if you face it as an adult and move on.
Today's topic, which focused mainly on planning your future (tomorrow, the next day, the day after that), turned into "Why did I go to that Superbowl Party, eat those wings, drink so much beer?" I personally did not suffer from this malady because I still chose wisely. I decided early on that if my husband wanted some sort of Super Bowl treat, it would remain a healthful one. Luckily, he wasn't against that and eagerly ate all of his Weight Watchers recipe Mozzarella Sticks. I'm extremely thankful for the WW String Cheese, because it is the main contributor to the recipe. They were quite yummy and I would definitely make them again. I will, however, freeze them before baking next time because they melted into cheese puddles in the oven. This is not necessarily a bad thing, because, as I've mentioned, they were yummy.
So, what is stopping us from planning the future? Why don't we plan for exercise, which, as told by our leader, is an important component. I'm sure we all know this, but we're better at making excuses for not doing it rather than having it in our weekly plan. If we can track our food, we can track the exercise we get, no matter what it is. This has always been a downfall for me in terms of maintaining the weight I lose. I never realize that along with the good eating habits, I need to keep moving. My job keeps me pretty sedentary; there's no running around the office when you're updating HTML and Java Script all day. I can't do jumping jacks when I'm creating buttons in PowerPoint and saving them as JPEGs. That sounds like exercise, doesn't it? I can testify to the fact that it isn't. I'm glad that I've been doing more walking. I've taken advantage of WW's new Active Link, which I wear on my belt all day long. It tracks every move I make, which is good, because it helps me earn activity points. If I earn enough of them in a week, I can swap them for food. My goal is to start earning more than I have been. Walking to and from the train and a little bit during lunch has been gaining me 1-2 points a day, but that's not where I really should be. I have to amp it up. I was given a free DVD when I joined, so I really need to explore that.
I want to be able to talk about my goal setting next week at the meeting, so I'm resolving (ooh, there's that word I hate) to really check out the DVD (not just read the back) and to add more walking to my day. I know I can make that work.
Hit the comments and let me know what you're planning to do. I know it will give me inspiration, as I hope this blog is inspiring you.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Staying on Track
I'm really proud of myself; I'm down 5.4 lbs in just 3 weeks. You might think, "Why wouldn't she be proud of herself? That's a great accomplishment!"
If you're reading the blog, you know that I've done Weight Watchers before and lost 52 lbs. in 8 months. I was so proud of myself then. I even kept it off for a year. So, what went wrong? Pretty much everything. While I was patting myself on the back for the weight loss, I found out that I had a tumor on my adrenal gland. The tumor was not malignant, however, it was causing me a lot of pain and stress. You would think that the doctor would want to take that puppy out right away. But, of course not. Even though he was 95% sure this tumor was a, get this, pheochromacytoma (say that ten times fast), he needed to do a myriad of tests to be completely sure. I was hoping the tests would show he was completely wrong, because, to be honest, I did not plan for having holes cut in my abdomen any time at all. Sadly, he was not wrong, and the surgery was scheduled. Due to all the stress, I gained about 15 lbs. back prior to the surgery. Because the tumor was affecting my blood pressure and the amount of adrenalin I produced, the doctor was on me to lose that weight. I could not do it. In fact, I became a stress eater, even after knowing I was going to be completely okay.
Most people think stress eating is not even a real thing. It is. Sometimes you don't even know you are overeating because of stress. For me, most of the time I did, but I didn't care. I could not get myself to a place where I wanted to be completely better. How sad is that?
They (whoever they are) always say that in order to make a change in your life, you need to want it. No smoker is going to quit unless they really want to. I know this to be true, because I watched my father try to quit numerous times. He even went back to smoking after having cancer and 2 heart attacks. It's what ultimately did him in, but not before riddling his whole body with tumors. I think about that all the time, but until now it didn't faze me enough to want to change.
Now, I want it more than ever. I suppose it is because I am reaching the end of my 40s (not that soon, nosy!) and I want to make the rest of my life a healthful one.
So, how can we plan for this? Truthfully, there is no concrete plan, but you have to do what is best for you. For me, it is being back on Weight Watchers and attending meetings. I personally need that kind of support. In my last try at this, I was secretly angry at people who were on the program but only had a little to lose. Now I know I should not have been judging them. They obviously were there because they thought they needed to lose their weight. I know now it isn't about numbers. It always has to be about how you feel. Of course, you won't feel good unless you find something that works for you and for me this is it.
Find your own plan. Again, I'm writing about weight loss, but if there is something else you need tyo change in your life (maybe you smoke too much) try creating a plan for yourself and track your progress. For me, tracking is key, but it isn't the end all be all of the plan. I just want to feel better and I know that following this plan is going to work. I believe.
If you're reading the blog, you know that I've done Weight Watchers before and lost 52 lbs. in 8 months. I was so proud of myself then. I even kept it off for a year. So, what went wrong? Pretty much everything. While I was patting myself on the back for the weight loss, I found out that I had a tumor on my adrenal gland. The tumor was not malignant, however, it was causing me a lot of pain and stress. You would think that the doctor would want to take that puppy out right away. But, of course not. Even though he was 95% sure this tumor was a, get this, pheochromacytoma (say that ten times fast), he needed to do a myriad of tests to be completely sure. I was hoping the tests would show he was completely wrong, because, to be honest, I did not plan for having holes cut in my abdomen any time at all. Sadly, he was not wrong, and the surgery was scheduled. Due to all the stress, I gained about 15 lbs. back prior to the surgery. Because the tumor was affecting my blood pressure and the amount of adrenalin I produced, the doctor was on me to lose that weight. I could not do it. In fact, I became a stress eater, even after knowing I was going to be completely okay.
Most people think stress eating is not even a real thing. It is. Sometimes you don't even know you are overeating because of stress. For me, most of the time I did, but I didn't care. I could not get myself to a place where I wanted to be completely better. How sad is that?
They (whoever they are) always say that in order to make a change in your life, you need to want it. No smoker is going to quit unless they really want to. I know this to be true, because I watched my father try to quit numerous times. He even went back to smoking after having cancer and 2 heart attacks. It's what ultimately did him in, but not before riddling his whole body with tumors. I think about that all the time, but until now it didn't faze me enough to want to change.
Now, I want it more than ever. I suppose it is because I am reaching the end of my 40s (not that soon, nosy!) and I want to make the rest of my life a healthful one.
So, how can we plan for this? Truthfully, there is no concrete plan, but you have to do what is best for you. For me, it is being back on Weight Watchers and attending meetings. I personally need that kind of support. In my last try at this, I was secretly angry at people who were on the program but only had a little to lose. Now I know I should not have been judging them. They obviously were there because they thought they needed to lose their weight. I know now it isn't about numbers. It always has to be about how you feel. Of course, you won't feel good unless you find something that works for you and for me this is it.
Find your own plan. Again, I'm writing about weight loss, but if there is something else you need tyo change in your life (maybe you smoke too much) try creating a plan for yourself and track your progress. For me, tracking is key, but it isn't the end all be all of the plan. I just want to feel better and I know that following this plan is going to work. I believe.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
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Monday, January 14, 2013
Slow And Steady Wins The Race
I'm proud to say that in my first week back on WW, I lost 2.2 lbs. To be honest, it is less than I wanted to lose. My last time around at this, I took 6 lbs. off the first week. I couldn't believe that was even possible.
When I first sat down waiting for the meeting today, I had a tiny bit of sadness. I did everything they told me I should be doing. Remember, if I am going to do something, I have to go all-in. Suggestions were to change your spaces, so I cleaned out the refrigerator and the cabinets. I replaced all the bad stuff with vegetables, fruits (most zero points), lean protein and lots of good whole grains. I'm on a new kick eating things with flax. Everything these days comes with added flax. Oatmeal, bread, even pasta. Glad to know this, as it makes it easy, and truthfully, this stuff actually tastes way better. I know, you'd think high fiber foods have a weird taste, but that's not the case at all.
The leader asked who was new from last week. I reluctantly raised my hand, and I wonder why it was reluctant because last time I did this, I was chatty Cathy in the meeting room. Then she pointed to each of us and we had to say what worked for us and if we lost weight. I suddenly had an epiphany; this stuff is cathartic. When the first girl said she lost 7 lbs. in her first week, I wanted to smack her, but it ends up that now that she's drinking water instead of wine in her many client shmooze fests, she lost because alcohol is a killer. I don't tend to drink much at all, so I didn't have that to give up. I'm now glad that I lost at all.
I also started walking more. How nice for all of us in NYC that the weather has been milder this last week. I have a DVD from WW, but I need to figure out what to do with my living room; if I'm going to change my spaces, I need a space that is good for exercising. Right now, I'd just fall over and hit the wall unit, and that wouldn't be good, right?
Luckily, my husband is all-in, too. That's what helped me the last time and I'm sure it will help me now.
Now I'm looking forward to next week. I hope to lose some more, but if I don't, I won't berate myself. I'll just move forward, slow and steady.
When I first sat down waiting for the meeting today, I had a tiny bit of sadness. I did everything they told me I should be doing. Remember, if I am going to do something, I have to go all-in. Suggestions were to change your spaces, so I cleaned out the refrigerator and the cabinets. I replaced all the bad stuff with vegetables, fruits (most zero points), lean protein and lots of good whole grains. I'm on a new kick eating things with flax. Everything these days comes with added flax. Oatmeal, bread, even pasta. Glad to know this, as it makes it easy, and truthfully, this stuff actually tastes way better. I know, you'd think high fiber foods have a weird taste, but that's not the case at all.
The leader asked who was new from last week. I reluctantly raised my hand, and I wonder why it was reluctant because last time I did this, I was chatty Cathy in the meeting room. Then she pointed to each of us and we had to say what worked for us and if we lost weight. I suddenly had an epiphany; this stuff is cathartic. When the first girl said she lost 7 lbs. in her first week, I wanted to smack her, but it ends up that now that she's drinking water instead of wine in her many client shmooze fests, she lost because alcohol is a killer. I don't tend to drink much at all, so I didn't have that to give up. I'm now glad that I lost at all.
I also started walking more. How nice for all of us in NYC that the weather has been milder this last week. I have a DVD from WW, but I need to figure out what to do with my living room; if I'm going to change my spaces, I need a space that is good for exercising. Right now, I'd just fall over and hit the wall unit, and that wouldn't be good, right?
Luckily, my husband is all-in, too. That's what helped me the last time and I'm sure it will help me now.
Now I'm looking forward to next week. I hope to lose some more, but if I don't, I won't berate myself. I'll just move forward, slow and steady.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Attempting to not fail
Because I am back on Weight Watchers now, I am drawn to anything about it, either in the news, on the web, when someone talks about it.
As I logged into Facebook this morning, there was a post on the WW wall asking, "If you could do anything and not fail at it, what would you do?"
I was taken aback at first. Don't we go into everything we do with a nod to failure? I like to think that I walk around spouting that for me FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. I mean, how can we learn if there is no option for failure?
What is it about ourselves that makes us so afraid of failing? I'm sure we've all failed at something at least once in our lifetimes. For me, as a child, it was MATH. In the beginning of my educational career, I did just fine. Adding and subtracting were EASY. When they attempted to teach us multiplication and division, I became sadly lost. Weird, right? If I could master the earlier equations, why couldn't I do these, which clearly involved some sort of adding and subtracting anyway? Don't EVEN ask me about fractions.
Fast forward to adulthood. I went through high school and college as what they call a Skinny Minny. I didn't even have a chest until senior year of college. Pretty much wore a training type bra until then. Seriously. I graduated, started working and being able to eat better and packing on the pounds. I joined Weight Watchers then, and lost 42 lbs. I looked amazing again. I even kept it off for two years. Then, I met my husband, and in the throes of our early love, we ate like crazy. I was still in the mind of the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach, but I included my own stomach and gained again. FAILURE.
Next time I attempted weight loss, I did it on my own and lost about 25 lbs. Still could not keep it off. I was feeling great and then suffered the loss of my dad. The depression sent me into an eating frenzy and I gained it all back and more. FAILURE.
Four years ago, I joined WW AGAIN and took off 52 lbs. I was doing so well and then was dealt my own health setback. I focused on the fact that I was going to get through this issue, but honestly, the stress of all the tests, the operation that followed and the recovery, I failed yet again.
Now, I'm back on the journey. I have A LOT of weight to lose. What's different now? I refuse to let failure be an option. When I say this, I mean on the whole. I know that I won;t be successful if I beat myself up about every setback, but this time I'm focusing on not having any. I'm already feeling so good with the small changes I've made in my eating habits, that I'd be dumb to not fully embrace this.
And, I will not fail.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Back On The Journey
So, here's to new beginnings...
I've decided in this New Year of 2013 to rejoin Weight Watchers.
Two things to know about me:
For me to accomplish anything in my life and that includes day-to-day stuff at work, I need to make silent commitment to myself. It always works.
In the past three years or so, I have joined and rejoined WW and also tried to lose with Spark People. SP is very well intentioned, but without any real people to listen to and to listen to you, it hasn't been a success for me. When you log into the site, they give you awards just for visiting it. What's that about? Clearly, I don't need awards for visiting a website; if there were awards for that sort of thing on TV, I would be a clear winner. I could be called up to the podium by Ryan Gosling, say, or Brad Pitt after he's taken a shower - a long one (if you don't know, there is an industry secret that he reeks). I'd be all gushy and thanking, who I don't know, because this is my journey. I'd thank me - thanks for visiting TV Line today. Great job reading about the soaps. Now we know how silly these awards are and they can't possibly motivate you to lose any weight.
In all honesty, I really just want to be healthy. I do have to say that it is very motivating to me that after only doing this again for a few days, I am already feeling better. This could all be psychological, but at the end of the day, if something motivates me to continue on this journey, I'll take it.
I'll be back soon to recap my week and my successes and failures. It's all part of the journey and I hope you join me.
I've decided in this New Year of 2013 to rejoin Weight Watchers.
Two things to know about me:
- I don't make resolutions. I'm not very good at keeping them.
- I do follow through quite well on personal commitments. See 2008-2009 and my over 50 lb. weight loss in a 9 month span.
For me to accomplish anything in my life and that includes day-to-day stuff at work, I need to make silent commitment to myself. It always works.
In the past three years or so, I have joined and rejoined WW and also tried to lose with Spark People. SP is very well intentioned, but without any real people to listen to and to listen to you, it hasn't been a success for me. When you log into the site, they give you awards just for visiting it. What's that about? Clearly, I don't need awards for visiting a website; if there were awards for that sort of thing on TV, I would be a clear winner. I could be called up to the podium by Ryan Gosling, say, or Brad Pitt after he's taken a shower - a long one (if you don't know, there is an industry secret that he reeks). I'd be all gushy and thanking, who I don't know, because this is my journey. I'd thank me - thanks for visiting TV Line today. Great job reading about the soaps. Now we know how silly these awards are and they can't possibly motivate you to lose any weight.
In all honesty, I really just want to be healthy. I do have to say that it is very motivating to me that after only doing this again for a few days, I am already feeling better. This could all be psychological, but at the end of the day, if something motivates me to continue on this journey, I'll take it.
I'll be back soon to recap my week and my successes and failures. It's all part of the journey and I hope you join me.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Lessons learned and re-thinking plans
Oy.
There's not much more I can say about this week. It has been an eternity since I've written a new post.
I've been really bad at following my original plan, and in the last few months, I have regained nearly 20 lbs. Nope, not proud of myself at all.
People say, "you don't look like you've gained". Gee, thanks!
I decided to change primary care providers recently. I really like my previous doctor, but he is getting up in age, and honestly, looking at his crooked toupe each visit was slightly disturbing. But I digress.
After Thanksgiving and the ridiculous amounts of food I ate that day and the enitre weekend, I started feeling odd stomach pains. Cut to the new doc and an appointment. Walked in, waited over an hour to see him. BP checked - get this, 190/120 - WHAAAAAAAT?
Last time it was checked, nearly a year ago, it was 110/90. What the hell had I done to myself? Clearly I am not paying attention to taking care of myself. Right away, they put me in a room, told me to take this orangeish pill and lay down. Huh? It was all happening so fast. I was freaking out. Probably didn't help that I dissolved into tears when the doctor gave me the numbers. "Are you like this all the time?", he asked. I'm like, "Uh, no!" Girl comes back in 20 mminutes and the numbers are down. Okay, but not enough, it seems. Other half of pill is given. "Lay down for a little while longer", she says. OMG! 20 more minutes go by and I'm crawling out of my skin. Doc comes in and says it has gone down more, but the lower number is better than the higher. He writes a prescription for meds and tells me to go home, take one tonight, and one per day; come back Thursday. So soon? All righty, then.
Thursday... BP still high. So now they've doubled the dose (not thrilling me, due to the cost of this stuff).
So, I'm still learning. I suppose we will do this until we leave this lovely earth. I'm going to write more. Still need to undergo a test to see what the stomach stuff is... December is a month of doctor visits, and getting back on track.
Stay with me...
There's not much more I can say about this week. It has been an eternity since I've written a new post.
I've been really bad at following my original plan, and in the last few months, I have regained nearly 20 lbs. Nope, not proud of myself at all.
People say, "you don't look like you've gained". Gee, thanks!
I decided to change primary care providers recently. I really like my previous doctor, but he is getting up in age, and honestly, looking at his crooked toupe each visit was slightly disturbing. But I digress.
After Thanksgiving and the ridiculous amounts of food I ate that day and the enitre weekend, I started feeling odd stomach pains. Cut to the new doc and an appointment. Walked in, waited over an hour to see him. BP checked - get this, 190/120 - WHAAAAAAAT?
Last time it was checked, nearly a year ago, it was 110/90. What the hell had I done to myself? Clearly I am not paying attention to taking care of myself. Right away, they put me in a room, told me to take this orangeish pill and lay down. Huh? It was all happening so fast. I was freaking out. Probably didn't help that I dissolved into tears when the doctor gave me the numbers. "Are you like this all the time?", he asked. I'm like, "Uh, no!" Girl comes back in 20 mminutes and the numbers are down. Okay, but not enough, it seems. Other half of pill is given. "Lay down for a little while longer", she says. OMG! 20 more minutes go by and I'm crawling out of my skin. Doc comes in and says it has gone down more, but the lower number is better than the higher. He writes a prescription for meds and tells me to go home, take one tonight, and one per day; come back Thursday. So soon? All righty, then.
Thursday... BP still high. So now they've doubled the dose (not thrilling me, due to the cost of this stuff).
So, I'm still learning. I suppose we will do this until we leave this lovely earth. I'm going to write more. Still need to undergo a test to see what the stomach stuff is... December is a month of doctor visits, and getting back on track.
Stay with me...
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